I remember dropping my Goldfish crackers into the VHS player once. I had just finished watching The Lion King, a movie that was constantly on repeat for toddler Caroline. My older sister showed me how to press play, pause, and rewind so I’d need little assistance watching movies. Though most of the time I found myself playing with Barbies or outside with the dog.
Years passed, and as kid in the early 2000s I saw technology change FAST. The VCR was replaced by a DVD player. Soon DVD players were portable– and oh, wait! There’s this new thing called Blue Ray that requires another type of player… and so on. With the rapidly changing world of technology, children like myself became the guinea pig to a digital society. By the time I was in middle school, it was near impossible to complete school assignments without a computer at home. I spent most of my afternoons logged in on gaming sites like Poptropica, Build-A-Bearville, Webkinz, and the like.
I was around 12 when I downloaded Facebook and Instagram. I saw culture between young people change all around me. Almost all interactions between peers was kept online. I even had a large amount of online friends that I had never seen in person– some with cruel intentions to prey on a preteen.
Now at 24, and a parent myself, I have had to really consider the role that technology will have in my family’s life. Also, I need to face the fact: I, and most of my generation, are addicted to screens.
Information Overload
I was laying on my bed in my hometown in South Carolina nearly on the brink of a panic attack. 17 years old and anxiously thumbing through Instagram, seeing war crimes one second and advertisements for vegan supplements the next. My head ached from looking at SmartBoards at my high school from 9am to 4pm. Totally frazzled, I threw my phone across the room. I did not want to have to process another thing that day.
I came across the idea of minimalism in my 8 hour YouTube surfing haze. The idea of doing life with less sounded like a perfect solution to my problems. After watching the Minimalists documentary on Netflix, I also resigned to delete social media apps from my phone. I went on a 3 month hiatus from Instagram, Facebook, and others. The results however…
I did not break the habit of spending hours on screens. In fact, I started just watching hours upon hours of YouTube videos on various subjects. I would refresh the “recommended” screen endlessly looking for the next hit of dopamine, or a video that would somehow change my life. That video never came, and I continued to consume more and more mindless content for years.
To this day, whenever there’s another global crisis I start feeling the same way. Like in the height of COVID-19, when my screen time averaged nearly 8 hours per day. It’s a familiar feeling to many. There are a million people and brands begging for your attention. And surprisingly, it’s not so easy to turn away.
The Longing
The reality is that there a yearning in our heart for something greater. Christians should at least know that if our life is rightly ordered, God is our everything. But when objects like iPhones take over time with family, prayer, and other good work– there is a problem.
I don’t claim to be any sort of spiritual advisor or expert in this subject, but there are a few things that really strike me in my own addiction to screens:
To make something an idol, that is to put something in place of God. For example, waking up in the morning to watch TikTok videos instead of spending the first few moments in prayer. It is unintentional, sure. But, the time I have spent online has often overshadowed my duties in my vocation, as well as my relationship with the Lord. In a way, I think that as a society we attempt to become God when we intake so much information. We were never made to absorb this much. Who can take on all the troubles of the world besides Christ? We kid ourselves by pretending that it is normal.
Although gluttony usually pertains to someone’s appetite, I have also experienced the same sensation with media consumption. I recall many times where I have refreshed my feed over and over looking for the perfect video to watch. Something that would really itch the scratch in my brain. Nothing ever satisfied. Instead, I’d just keep consuming content. I’d get hooked on a single topic too– and suddenly I’d find myself grasping to find every video or blogpost on the subject. I recall, for example, when I first became vegan as a teenager (no longer) where I watched HOURS of videos about the subject. What once was curiosity soon became an obsession. There are too many topics to name that I have also gone off the deep end looking into.
Doom-scrolling is known to keep users from doing necessary tasks. Procrastination is easy when you have a screen that tailors to your every thought. Algorithms keep me in their grip, finding anything to steal my attention. These sites are purposely created to keep me from my real life, and instead keep me hooked on advertisements. I cannot tell you how much time I have wasted just flipping through images on my iPhone.
I believe that one of the major reasons that people in my generation are so hooked on screen time is deeper than it appears. Sure, it is a well-researched idea that more screen time leads to more anxious and depressed users. But it’s not just the phone itself causing the problems.
Out of Touch? Turn toTouchscreen
We lack the basic human connection. This is not simply the result of screen time– but the also cause. There’s no denying that many of us come from broken families. Children of divorce, abuse, harsh parents, religious trauma, and the like. Our extended family lives states away, our kids are constantly at kid-centered activities, and we often offer no genuine religious education.
One quote that struck me while at mass about a week ago was by Saint Pope John Paul the II. It was the Feast of the Holy Family, and our pastor was speaking about families in general. “The first and fundamental structure for ‘human ecology’ is the family, in which man receives his first formative ideas about truth and goodness, and learns what it means to love and to be loved, and thus what it actually means to be a person.”
Therefore, if we are to learn to be fully functional human beings– we must grow up in healthy, balanced families. Of course, this is not to say everyone who is in an unfortunate situation is a lost cause. I have my own negative experiences that have led me to where I am today. However, if we do not have the foundation of a family, it can certainly be harder to cope with the ebbs and flows of life. It can leave us wanting, and in turn, addicted.
A lot of families that have ranging issues include people with addiction. I know this first hand, and I always said it would stop with me. It’s true that I rarely ever drink alcohol, and I have never used any illicit substances. Despite this, I am addicted to a material object. Sure, I am not ending up in jail for what I’m doing. There could be far worse things. However, it is still negatively impacting my quality of life and taking me away from God and my family. This is something I am still wrestling with, and I imagine I will be for a while.
The Solution
I have pondered the idea of doing extreme measures in order to cut back on screen time. I have ditched social media before, only to find myself distracted with other sites. I thought about getting a “dumb phone” or non-smart phone in order to keep myself offline. Screen time limits never quite work for me either, as I can easily bypass the lock. I have even thought about totally getting rid of my phone for a week in order to realign myself.
I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of person and I admit that fully. When I sense a lack of control in my life, my pride steps in and will set unattainable standards. Then when I ultimately fail, I will consider it a moral deficit. Sometimes it is poor will power, but it is mostly unreasonable expectations. Plus, I don’t really think ditching everything in the digital age the answer. I don’t expect myself to be the next Wendell Berry (although I do admire the man).
Instead of adding to the list of things I cannot do, I am attempting a mindset shift. I am fully leaning into joy. That’s my word of the year for 2024, by the way. Joy. I desire to unite my will with Christ’s and fully live out my life in the joy that the Lord gives. This means for me adding more things that enrich my life. Time with friends, exploring outdoors, and attempting to rejoice in the mundane. Living completely in the present, and “laughing at the days to come.”
The idea is to live in an abundance mindset. Seeing all the things around me that are worth doing– besides surfing the internet. Believe me, I have greatly profited from being online. I have met so many amazing people and learned things I wouldn’t have otherwise. There are online ministries that have deeply impacted my spiritual life. I can support small businesses through social media. I can evangelize and connect with others. I can look for support for something specific when I can’t find anyone in my immediate community. There is SO much free learning on the internet; it is amazing!
Too much of a good thing can hurt you, though. So I am choosing more. Choosing the harder thing.
- to step out of my comfort zone and go on a walk or hike.
- to do the laundry because it glorifies the Lord to take care of my family.
- to put down the phone in line at the store.
- to look into people’s eyes.
- to really listen when people speak.
Lord, grant me the grace to do so.
Please let me know:
Are you also negatively impacted by your screen time and/or social media use?
Have you tried to do anything about it?
